Shining Light

It seemed I was having a case of negative/critical self-talk and attitude today. And as the day went on it just got worse, as I found my self, once again, failing my expectations. (Eyes on me.)  I was driving home from errand-running and feeling stressed, irritated, and defeated.  (Running theme in my life lately.  I'll expound on that later.) Then, right in the middle of complaining to myself about myself, a song came on my iPod random shuffle that stopped me.  It quieted me - that voice inside my head.  I just stopped and listened:  

Joy

I love you Lord

I worship You

I'll love You Lord always

So thankful Lord

You saved my life

You saved my life today

Chorus:

Let me be a shining light for you

Let me be a joy to you always

Let me be a shining light for you

Let me be a joy to you always

And Lord I'd love

To bring to You

The honor to your name

Just look at what

You've done for me

I'll never be the same

      (Chorus)

Conviction.  My behavior wasn't very edifying, and I was definitely not being "a joy" or "a shining light" - to anyone - let alone to or for God.  I played (and sang) the song 3 times on the way home and offered it as my prayer.  My spirit calmed, and those complaints and irritations seemed to melt away.  They didn't magically disappear, mind you, they just became less important and my stress level decreased.   I honored God by giving them to Him, along with my praise.  (Eyes on Him.) And once again, found my way into His grace. 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.  I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  Matthew 11:28-30, MSG

"I will sacrifice a voluntary offering to you; I will praise your name, O Lord , for it is good."  Psalm 54:6, NLT

(P.S. - I probably also stopped scaring my 2yr-old daughter with my nonsensical rants from the driver's seat!)   ;-P

 

Multitude Monday, Vol. 4

Well, it's Monday again.  And I've found myself unprepared for my post and lacking in general on my One Thousand Gifts journey.  I'll admit that I've slacked on my gratitude journaling this week.  Just busy-ness and forgetfulness mostly.  I started to feel bad, guilty. But, then I thought to offer myself some grace. I could use some today.  Just one of those days I'm feeling inadequate and all up in my head wondering how I can 'fix' myself and my circumstances.  But then I was reminded of a word I heard recently that talked about letting go of perfection, to stop begging God to do this, do that and simply let Him in, worship Him, offer Him the sacrifice of praise and get my eyes off of myself.  Because only as I draw myself close to Him will He be able to do a work in me.  Then the other things will fall into place, somehow.  The plan will be made known as He sees fit to reveal it to me, piece by piece.  It's a little harder "do" than "say", but I get it and am working on it. 

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. "  2 Cor 12:8-10 NIV

So today, I am thankful for His Word, and these other words that have stayed upon my heart, that all allow me to once again embrace His mercy and grace. 





 

The Cleaner

I cleaned the bathroom mirror the other day, which had been clouded with water and toothpaste spots.   When I was finished I stopped and just took in the view. Not of myself, mind you…just ‘the view’ in general.  The clean, clear, unobstructed view. Then it struck me:  My spirit felt like the dirty mirror.  In the midst of my busyness & preoccupation with my son starting Kindergarten and new schedule, I had slipped away from time in the Word and prayer, out of communion with God.  Plus, this particular day was a challenge, having gotten behind in said new schedule, throwing off the rest of the day, along with some other issues.  So I was tired, frustrated, feeling defeated and inadequate. One of those things we women - especially moms - tend to do…trying to be that ever-elusive and basically *imaginary* Superwoman.  I even cried out to God at one point (literally), asking, “Lord, why can’t I do anything RIGHT?!”

Then, standing there in front of that newly-clean mirror, it became CLEAR. (Pun intended!)  I had let my spirit become cloudy with muck and yuck, having neglected that time with God and in the Word.  He is ‘The Cleaner’ who can wash away the water spots, and the dirt and muck from my soul.  But I have to ask for His services.  And He’s always available – 24 hours a day, in fact – if only I’d make myself available!  And I suspect He’ll remind me that His mercy and grace are included in that cleaning package, along with His love and forgiveness. And then He might offer this:

“WANTED:
A woman who is imperfect, in need of grace, gloriously gifted, flawed and beautiful who dares to believe she's loved through it all by a God who has an amazing purpose for her life. No need to apply. You're already known. You've already been chosen. The Lord looks at the heart. “ (Based on 1 SAMUEL 16:7)         ~Holley Gerth

I’m gonna go buy stock in The Cleaner…