It seemed I was having a case of negative/critical self-talk and attitude today. And as the day went on it just got worse, as I found my self, once again, failing my expectations. (Eyes on me.) I was driving home from errand-running and feeling stressed, irritated, and defeated. (Running theme in my life lately. I'll expound on that later.) Then, right in the middle of complaining to myself about myself, a song came on my iPod random shuffle that stopped me. It quieted me - that voice inside my head. I just stopped and listened:
Joy
I love you Lord
I worship You
I'll love You Lord always
So thankful Lord
You saved my life
You saved my life today
Chorus:
Let me be a shining light for you
Let me be a joy to you always
Let me be a shining light for you
Let me be a joy to you always
And Lord I'd love
To bring to You
The honor to your name
Just look at what
You've done for me
I'll never be the same
(Chorus)
Conviction. My behavior wasn't very edifying, and I was definitely not being "a joy" or "a shining light" - to anyone - let alone to or for God. I played (and sang) the song 3 times on the way home and offered it as my prayer. My spirit calmed, and those complaints and irritations seemed to melt away. They didn't magically disappear, mind you, they just became less important and my stress level decreased. I honored God by giving them to Him, along with my praise. (Eyes on Him.) And once again, found my way into His grace.
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30, MSG
"I will sacrifice a voluntary offering to you; I will praise your name, O Lord , for it is good." Psalm 54:6, NLT
(P.S. - I probably also stopped scaring my 2yr-old daughter with my nonsensical rants from the driver's seat!) ;-P
