Since it's been awhile since my last post, let me start by saying HAPPY NEW YEAR! Sorry I've been gone so long (almost a month to the day)...things just got away from me! Which is what brings me to today's subject...
I must confess: I have an addiction. It's called 'staying up too late'. Acutally, let's just call it 'late'. I stay up too late, then get up too late, I get Hollie, my nearly-2-yr-old up too late, I get my 5-yr-old son Heath to school practically late, then often let Hollie nap too late, get dinner started too late, get the kids ready for & in bed too late, and then start over at stay up too late. "Et cetera, et cetera, et ceteraaa..." (Name that movie)
Not all of this every single day, but close enough. And I hate it...I think it's holding me back. I'm a serious nightowl by nature - always have been. My hubby Chris (a.k.a. Boy Scout) is kinda one too...we've always stayed up 'late'. But the last couple of years I've started staying up excessively late. And it's not 'insomnia'. I just stay up, often when I'm actually tired. I realized awhile back that I've just done this since the kid(s) were born. I think it's my way of finding 'me' time, 'alone' time, time to do things I can't seem to do when the kids are up. Stuff like blogging (hello there!), messin on the computer = email/balancing checkbook/reading Pioneer Woman/FB/watching TV shows online that I missed during the week, etc., reading, and so on. Not terribly 'important' stuff, but just those 'wanna do' things.
And that is something I do just about every day. It's just a vicious cycle...the stayin' up late causes the domino effect of the other 'late' things affecting my day. That, in turn, causes me to feel tired, inadequate, forgetful, frustrated and guilty. And, honestly - I'm often calling myself 'an idiot', a 'loser', and 'stupid' for not 'getting it' and doing this to myself over and over again. Hence, leaving little room to motivate myself to get on the exercise bandwagon that I really need to jump on! Vicious. Cycle. Not sure which is worse -the vicious part or the repetitive, cycle part. Hmmmm. Why don't we just dump them both?! "Hey Jane...get me off this crazy thing..." (Name that movie)
I have to make a change! For lots of reasons - for my health, for my family, for my sanity, and to be able to begin to fulfill the plan God has for me. It all connects...this issue affects every area of my life. I'm not at my best. And I'm not as open to God as I know I should be, to be used by Him, because I'm so caught up in myself and my 'issues' and not great at forgiving myself. I'm confessing this to you, because I need to start somewhere, and be held accountable! So if anyone sees me up after midnight on Facebook, message me and tell me to get my fanny to bed! Then I will tell you to do the same. HA!
It's my goal to get to bed earlier and then up earlier to start my day. This may likely call for some sacrifice, initially anyway, like not being able to get all my 'wanna do's' done, or have as much 'me time'. But, I'm hoping that in the long run it will actually help me find more time! (among other things!) I'm excited! I need this! I want to be free! Free from this bondage I'm holding myself in! I'm excited about what this could mean for my future! Excited about being able to bless others (like you!) in a bigger and more effective way!
Oh, and I'm posting my "One Thing" points below. This was a message our Pastor brought for the New Year. He talked about the fact that we've just entered not only a new year, but a new decade. And instead of just having 'good intentions', things you want to accomplish, have 'God intentions'. If you concentrate on 'one thing' a year, by the end of this next decade you will have accomplished TEN 'one things'! That's exciting to me, since that's probably more than I accomplished in the last decade! ('significant' things) So, I just wanted to share mine. Here is the message if you want to check it out: http://www.lifechurch.tv/message-archive/watch/one-thing/1
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43: 18-19
1) What one thing do you desire from God? To be used by Him
2) What one thing do you lack? (in your spiritual life) Willingness (to both feed on the Word and to be used)
3) What one thing do you need to let go? Unforgiveness toward myself.
Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3: 13-14
4) What one promise do you need to claim? "To meet every need I have from His riches" (Phil 4:19).
I need to trust: “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:28-34
MY ONE THING: TO BE FIT AGAIN IN 2010! (Both physically and spiritually!)
Thanks for 'listening'! I'll keep you posted on my progress!
(Photo by Chris Daughtrey)